Raffi sinks millions into failed BananaPhone - The Beaverton

Raffi sinks millions into failed BananaPhone

Victoria BC – After ten years of research and development, acclaimed singer-songwriter, Cavoukian admits that he has been unable to produce a functioning smart device known only as the ‘BananaPhone’.

“Yes, I’m out of money but I’m very close to making it work”, Cavoukian admitted. “I just need to perfect the cellular bananular matrix and then I’ll be laughing.”

Not much is known about this new biotechnology except that Cavoukian promises that it will change telecommunications forever. “It’s the best! Beats the rest. Cellular, modular, interactivodular.”

Many in the Canadian tech world were hoping that this device would replace the market hole left by Blackberry. “It only makes sense that another fruit-based technology like the BananaPhone would eventually be developed”, commented technology analyst, Henry Jenkins, adding, “But if the BananaPhone turns out to be a lemon I think Apple will reap the harvest.”

Cavoukian keeps all his prototypes in his fridge, “It’s a reminder that every failure brings me closer to success. Plus, the device is completely organic, so once I produce a functioning version I’ll bake a delicious banana bread out of the prototypes.”

Despite his ongoing setbacks, Cavoukian is hopeful that he will land an angel investor so that he can bring his dream to fruition. “If people will give Fred Penner money to create his ridiculous automated hippopotamus Otto, then I’m sure I can find someone to fund me.”