Quebec man pretty sure hour-long explanation of Quiet Revolution will convince people he’s not racist

TORONTO – After being called out on charged comments made at a Toronto house party, Gatineau native Jean Tommelier is currently explaining the history of ’s in an attempt to excuse his remarks.

“Listen, I don’t dislike Muslims as people,” said Tommelier to the group of visibly unimpressed party-goers. “But symbols of religion have a bad history in Quebec. Which is why if someone shouts slurs at a woman in a hijab, mayyyybe that’s alright.”

Tommelier began describing the political upheaval that secularized Quebec as a way of assuring people he wasn’t racist, just very sensitive to outward displays of religion that all happen to come from people of colour.

“When Mulcair came out against the niqab ban, I had to vote against him,” said Tommelier. “Otherwise it might have somehow lead to Quebec going back to the 1950s.”

Tommelier spent another ten minutes trying to describe how Mulcair’s stance on the issue didn’t lose him 20 points in the polls because of some sort of Islamophobic backlash, but because of many Quebecers’ in-depth knowledge of mid-20th century provincial history.

“What about the fleur-de-lis in the Quebec flag?” interrupted Toronto woman Pri Husseini. “Doesn’t that symbol have strong associations with ultramontane Catholicism?”

But sources close to Tommelier are quick to arduously explain how ‘that’s different.’

As of press time, Tommelier has finished his speech and is glad he can get back to talking about how ‘practical’ we need to be about the refugee crisis.

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