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Trump said the US doesn’t think about Canada so we penned this transparent plea for attention

From attacking the rights of women and people of colour; to warmongering, and enabling oligarchs, ’s time in office has been one despicable act after another. But he may have topped them all in his phone call with Mexican President , when he said that the US doesn’t even think about .

Excuse me, but just how attention-starved does he think we are up here in Canada? Do we repeatedly check our phones and TVs for any mention of our country in the US media? We have many better things to do with our time, and that is why we wrote this article telling him so.

When we saw Trump’s quote scroll across the ticker, everyone dropped what they were doing, and leapt into action to construct a rebuttal, and this is it.

Our country has many merits that exist without the approval of anyone down south.

For example: we have excellent television shows like The Canada, Dragon’s Den, and . By the very rules of these shows, Americans aren’t allowed to be on them, so maybe it’s us who “don’t even think” about you, you inconsiderate- ugh!

Our artists, athletes, and politicians are pretty strong, also.

And sure, almost every creator in our country leaves for the US in order to eke out any kind of a living; and maybe our economy is so closely tied to US trade that we literally could not exist without it.

But if you ask us, anyone would tell you the same cold, hard truth we’re slamming you with by writing this article that we’ve done about a hundred drafts of: we don’t think about whether you think about us or not.

Want hilarious satire you can listen to? Check out The Beaverton Weekly Report podcast here