As per the CRTC’s requirements, 40% of each hour of radio needs to Canadian produced content, or approximately four Hedley songs.
Lead singer Jacob Hoggard was ecstatic, “We don’t know where we’d be without mandated CanCon. We got to perform “Cha-Ching” in front of the entire world at the 2010 Vancouver Olympics. There’s no going back at that point.”
22-year-old Ramna Valluvan, a reluctant fan of the group, reminisced, “I think they were the sound of my generation? I mean me and my friends heard them at school dances for a solid decade. They even played “Old School” at our grade 8 graduation. I don’t think I can ever forget that kind of humiliation.”
After making it to the third round of season 2 of Canadian Idol, Hoggard reassembled his band with the knowledge that Canadian radio stations needed him more than he needed them.
“We hope to continue to dominate slots in between Marianas Trench and Lights on pop music stations,” Hoggard said sinisterly. “Canadians across the country will hear the sound of Hedley on their wedding day, at the birth of their first child, their funeral procession…”
Hedley is the prestigious winner of seven MuchMusic Video Awards, as well as two Junos. Their misleadingly titled “Hello World Tour” in did not in fact tour the world, rather 27 Canadian cities including Moncton and Lethbridge.