“I swear he doesn’t normally act like this,” said the Vice President. “He must be tired.”
“Has anyone seen his gold blankie?” Pence then asked the assembled heads of the executive branch.
“Maybe if we let him tweet something about CNN or SNL he’ll calm down,” suggested Secretary of Defense Richard Mattis.
Sources report that the meeting was going fine until about the 45 minute mark when, for apparently no reason, the commander in chief got red in the face and began crying. Attempts to placate him by dangling keys in front of his face and assuring him that all the women in the room would have sex with him if he wanted to did nothing other than increase the volume of his cries.
“I…don’t want…to…CALM DOWN!” yelled Trump in between sobs.
Eventually Pence had to take Trump out of the room so that the meeting could proceed. While the cabinet discussed NAFTA re-negotiations Pence spent 45 minutes bouncing Trump up and down on his knee before calling Melania in to give him the boob.
Eventually Trump did calm down enough to be put to bed. But he only fell asleep after Pence agreed to read Hustler to him for the 8th time.