Betsy DeVos buys public school to practice on

WASHINGTON, DC – Recently-confirmed Education Secretary has purchased a small public school to practice on before she assumes the responsibilities for her new job.

“I’m so thrilled to have purchased a public school so I can get the chance to try out some ideas before we move on to the other American public schools, of which there are, I understand, several dozens,” DeVos happily explained to reporters.

DeVos chose Miller North Collegiate for her trial run in large part due to the district’s relatively low-income population.

“This situation is a win-win,” DeVos explained in an interview. “The children in the school are, it would seem, most likely too poor to go to a real school, so no harm done if we make a couple of oopsies.”

While the projects DeVos will be testing are unclear, a spokesperson has confirmed that she is looking forward to getting acquainted with the challenging aspects of public school, like our-of-date-textbooks, overworked teachers, and the absence of a massive family fortune to help make ends meet.

At press time, DeVos was trying to see if she could get a grizzly to attack the school, just to see what would happen.

Watch complete episodes of the Beaverton here, and to see the Beaverton live at Toronto SketchFest on March 11, click here
If you enjoyed this, follow us on Facebook: