OAKLAND – Lorraine Fuller, a 99-year-old woman who just graduated college plans to move her things into her parent’s basement immediately.
“Living with mom and dad is kind of my only option right now,” said the recent grad. “No way I can afford to pay rent and my student loans. Plus I still don’t know how to do my own laundry.”
Like many recent graduates Lorraine also has plans to travel the world. “I figured I would backpack for a few months. At the very least I want to see Paris before I get sucked into the rat race.”
Lorraine, who began her studies as an undeclared student in the mid 1930’s, admitted that she didn’t take her education seriously until after the Korean War.
“I guess I was a bit of a partier. I still hold the record for drinking the most gimlets during a box social.”
Despite the length of time it took Lorraine to graduate, she hasn’t ruled out more education. “I could see myself doing a Masters. It’s not like a BA even means anything nowadays.”
Lorraine’s accommodations are not entirely free however, as she still has to mow the lawn, take out the trash, and plug in everyone’s respirators before she goes to sleep.
Lorraine’s parents are very proud of their daughter’s achievement. “We were in tears when she wheeled onto stage to accept her degree” said her mother.
Lorraine’s father added, “Now our baby girl has the education needed to land an unpaid internship.”