London, Ontario – Western University student Kyle Layton gave the performance of his life at a kegger near his dormitory last night convincing the other party goers he was not going to puke…
Tag: College
Seneca College unveils slogan “Seneca: The Harvard of Eastern Finch/Don Mills”
EASTERN FINCH/DON MILLS – Seneca College has undergone a rebrand, and is now calling itself “The Harvard of Eastern Finch/Don Mills.” “It’s time to toot our own horn a little,” said Seneca …
Man graduates from university application process
STRATFORD, ON – After an eternal time studying, countless hours researching articles on the nation’s schools, coordinating multiple reviews of student experiences, and many sleepless nights…
Ontario eases social distancing restrictions from “moderately” to “completely” confusing
TORONTO – Premier Doug Ford announced this week that in order to calm public uncertainty about what Ontarians are supposed to be doing to keep themselves safe during the COVID-19 pandemic, the pr…
Nation stunned to learn schools that charge $50,000 per year unfairly favour rich people
LOS ANGELES — In the wake of revelations that dozens of wealthy individuals have used fraudulent schemes to gain their children admission to top universities, Americans are reporting utter shock …
Teacher strike ‘great experience’ for Ontario college students taking Labour Studies
TORONTO – As the Ontario college faculty strike approaches the one-month mark, students enrolled in Labour Studies programs continue to experience what many colleges are calling a “bonus co-op pl…
Cool prof knows name of every student he wrecked on midterm
TORONTO – University of Toronto introductory calc professor Sean Segal is “so awesome,” his students report, that he took the time to learn the name of every student he demolished on the latest m…
Friends hold emergency meeting after Sarah starts dating longboarder
MONTREAL – The friends of Sarah called an emergency meeting yesterday after receiving confirmation that she was in fact dating a longboarder. “Order. Order everyone!” said Sarah’s bff and founder…
Streetcar tracks won’t rest until all cyclists broken
TORONTO – Seething with deep loathing and blind hatred, the city’s streetcar tracks have promised never to rest until every single one of Toronto cyclists’ bodies have been crushed, bruised…
99-year-old college graduate moves back in with parents
OAKLAND – Lorraine Fuller, a 99-year-old woman who just graduated college plans to move her things into her parent’s basement immediately. “Living with mom and dad is kind of my only option right…