OTTAWA – As controversy continues to mount over innocent Canadians being placed on the No Fly List, a long-running investigation claims that many people on the list are acceptably cool, tight and, in some cases, with it.
“It’s certainly a disturbing thought that the government – either through negligence and bad information, or an outright misuse of power – would be monitoring and prohibiting the steelo of so many demonstrably fly fillies and skins,” said investigator Cool James, biting his lip suggestively.
The investigation – conducted over the span of 14 months – has determined that in many cases were not only safe to travel, but were in fact stupid fly.
While the list has incorrectly told several of the homies they ain’t fly when in fact they’re all that – and, frequently, also a bag of chips – it’s the fly females who are disproportionately flagged without basis, according to the report.
“I love a fly girl on the No Fly list, with a flyness that the No Fly list missed,” posited lead researcher LL Cool J, again biting his lip suggestively and nodding at the report. “Unh.”
However, The Department of Justice defended the inclusion of these individuals on the no fly list, noting a concern about infection as they were well known to be sick as hell.
