OTTAWA – Just before being sworn in as Canada’s Prime Minister, Liberal leader Justin Trudeau stood in the darkened alley by Rideau Hall and took a long puff of his cigarette before flicking it away and shooting his cuffs.
“I thought the swearing in ceremony was wonderful,” said local school teacher Nancy Lusco, who brought her class to the public event. “I especially liked the sultry pause Justin took before he promised to uphold the duties of his office.”
“When he looked off into the distance like he was seeing something from his past before shaking hands with [Governor General David] Johnston I admit I felt a bit flushed,” she added.
The ceremony followed traditional protocols: the Governor General administered the oath, the Great Seal of Canada was presented, and the new Prime Minister discretely sipped from a flask he had smuggled in.
Some reporters were surprised by Trudeau’s decision to give his speech while lighting up a fresh cig.
“This country is so fucking beautiful. I love it. Like really love it,” said Trudeau as he also ran a comb through his hair. “I want to get on my motorcycle and drive off with it, into the night far away, where no one, not even God himself, can bother us. You know what I mean?”
At press time the nation “totally” knew what Justin meant.
