'Female Viagra' lets women with sexual dysfunction add fainting, nausea, dizziness to symptoms - The Beaverton

‘Female Viagra’ lets women with sexual dysfunction add fainting, nausea, dizziness to symptoms

RALEIGH, NC – This past week flibanserin or “female ” was approved by the , allowing women nationwide to combat low sex-drive while only suffering from of a long list of incapacitating side effects.

“The effects have been amazing,” said Milwaukee woman Sandra Thompson. “With this new drug, my husband and I are intimate anywhere between one and one-and-a-half times more per month. Sure, I’m throwing up every three hours, but our love life is saved!”

Mark, Mrs. Thompson’s husband, has also felt the changes brought on by the drug. “Flibanserin is fantastic. Sandra can’t keep her hands off of me 3.5% more on average, and you’re darn tootin’ if that’s almost statistically significant.”

The new drug has seen many positive reviews in its first week on the market, with women around the country writing in between fainting spells and the sometimes sex they’re having. “Sex used to be lifeless for me,” said San Francisco resident Elizabeth Wu. “ But with flibanserin I’ve found passion again. Sex is so much more interesting when the room is constantly spinning!”

Some critics have been unconvinced that the side effects are worth the drug’s “sexy, but literally only once in a blue moon,” effects. Manufacturer Sprout Pharmaceuticals has been quick to defend its aphrodisiac sedative.

“You have to understand that this is the first market drug of its kind,” responded Executive Vice President Rich Franco. “We did the absolute best we could in developing this drug. It is definitely not a failed anti-depressant that we’ve been trying to hock for eight years.”

In the past few years lobbyists for Sprout have attempted to make the drug’s release an issue of gender-equality, despite the FDA’s concerns being focused on side-effects and other risks.”Look, this isn’t about selling a drug,” said Franco. “This is about gender. Forget side effects, let’s talk front effects. This drug gives women sex. This is a drug for women. That’s why we made it pink! You know, for women!”

At press time, the Thompson’s latest sexual encounter had been cut short when Sandra began suffering a nighttime headache as a new side-effect of flibanserin.