WASHINGTON – A grand jury has today failed to indict Officer Thornton Smith following the high-profile shooting of a 53-year old United States president that was captured on video in front of a national audience.
“As the suspect took the podium to deliver an address I saw him raise his hands, palm-up, and smile in what I interpreted as a threatening gesture,” said Smith in his grand jury testimony. “As I believed he was carrying a weapon I knew I only had seconds to react before the crowd was placed in immediate danger.”
“If I had to do it again, I would do the exact same thing.”
Although the shooting was recorded and broadcast to almost 150 million American homes, the grand jury chose not to indict after months of reviewing evidence and hearing testimony.
“Of course, there was no way Officer Smith could have known at the time that he was shooting the democratically elected leader of the United States,” explained defense attorney Eric Silver. “Smith maintains that the confusing lights and cameras put him under such strain that he had no other option but to open fire.”
“I have to ask: how can we punish Officer Smith for a mistake any one of us could have made?”
Silver then left the press conference to meet Officer Smith and the grand jury at a nearby bar for celebratory drinks.
The prosecution has been criticized for not cross-examining Smith, blocking all of the 2,000 witnesses present at the speech from testifying, and erroneously informing the grand jury that “shooting the president is legal”.
“My job requires that the police cooperate with me so that I can get access to physical evidence and testimony,” said district attorney Erin Fleming. “So obviously I’m the best person to prosecute a member of this intensely fraternal and notoriously vindictive group. I see no possible conflicts of interest.”
At press time, Donald Trump had donated $1 million to the “Save Officer Smith!” Kickstarter fundraiser.
