I would remember more Middle Eastern leaders’ names if they didn’t change so frequently - The Beaverton

I would remember more Middle Eastern leaders’ names if they didn’t change so frequently

By Hon. John Baird, Minister of Foreign Affairs

Since the beginning of Arab Spring in 2011, people living under the oppression of autocrats and despots in the have overthrown their leaders and embraced democracy This poses a unique challenge; specifically, I can’t remember their new leaders’ names.

Tyrants have ruled these countries for several decades giving me ample opportunity to learn both first and last names. The notorious Muammar Gaddafi ruled Libya for 42 uninterrupted years, so I knew his name by the time I announced that I was going to bomb his country.

Now, I face an onslaught of exotic, unpronounceable names of political populists, religious fanatics and regime puppets. This revolution has been nothing but a revolving door of tongue-twisters and oddly placed consonants.

When I was first introduced to Moncef Marzouki, the newly minted President of Tunisia, I thought I was actually meeting the Japanese minister of trade. I went on for ten minutes about illegal whaling and APEC before my translator reminded me that he was translating Arabic, not Japanese.

Worse still was my visit to Tripoli. I stood in awkward silence with the President for ten minutes, without the faintest idea what he was called. I only got away with that because he was replaced during our meeting.

Did you know any of the Libyan presidents’ names? Neither do I. They’ve had three in one year!

To make matters worse, the only guy that I could remember -“Morsi” – only lasted a year before he was unceremoniously booted out. Has this guy never heard of the term “purging the military elite”?

We are having a hard enough time rebuilding Canada’s reputation in the world without having to make new flashcards every week.