WASHINGTON – The United States Tourism Board has launched a campaign encouraging people to witness Washington D.C.’s majestic fiscal cliff as it looms over the nation’s capital and the global economy until December 31st, 2012.
“For the first time, you’ll be able to experience this man-made wonder from $16 trillion high, marvelling at the staggering debt obligations of the greatest nation in history, ” said tourism board chair, Natalie Alvarez. “Using a special telescope, the view extends all the way to our foreign held treasuries in China and Japan.”
The campaign was created to raise awareness of the wonder that comes peering out from the fiscal cliff, able to see interconnected treasuries of the United States, China and the rest of the world, but mostly China.
Lead economic advisor, Kyle Rosenblatt, who is also a tour guide onsite, explained how the fiscal cliff formed.
“These are changes that started billions of dollars ago. When the GOP-logical tax cuts expire against the intense pressure of the global economic meltdown, the jagged face of fiscal cliff shot toward the sky, as congressional sediment settled with inaction.”
Throngs of tourists have already made their way to see the cliff and were not disappointed, taking in every part of it’s gorgeous financial irresponsibility.
“I can see my house debt from here,” remarked Florida resident Martha Lakefield, who attended the opening yesterday. “Look,” she added while pointing in the distance, “there’s the middles class income tax peak for 2014! How exciting!”
Just walking around you could hear many patriotic Americans who came just to get a glimpse of the wonderful national treasury deficit.
“So that’s what mandatory military spending cuts look like up close!” said Vernon Kelly of Bozeman, MT, who lost both his legs in Afghanistan.
“Wow! Look at all the zeroes!” said Jillian Singh, 5-years-old from Charlotte, NC.
Sadly as the house and executive branches try to reach a deal to shut the fiscal cliff down, conservationists in congress are pleading to allow a free entrance to citizens earning above $250,000 in order to preserve the cliff’s status as the largest in the world.
