by Auston Matthews Hockey fans are always picking on Toronto for blowing leads in the playoffs, like that time we lost to Boston back in 2013, 2018, 2019 or that time we lost to them again in 202…
Tag: Pierre Poilievre
Poilievre vows to stay on as party leader for reasons of being otherwise unemployable
CARLETON, ON – Despite losing his own riding by several thousand votes, Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre has vowed to stay on as party leader due to having absolutely no employment trac…
Struggling young voters choose between guy who will ignore cost of living and guy who will make every problem worse
OTTAWA – As the nation heads to the polls Gen Z and Millennial Canadians report having difficulty choosing between Mark Carney, who has promised to allow cost of living to continue to rise …
Trump forgets instructions to not mention Canada again until future governor Poilievre has won election
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Earlier this week, U.S. President Donald Trump was unable to remember the explicit instructions he was given to stop talking about Canada in order to help the man he’s ta…
Panicking Poilievre purportedly planning political pivot pending poll performance
PETERBOROUGH – Present polls panicking Pierre Poilievre, proving poor political performance, privy pals pronounced. “Pah! Pesky plebs!” pouted Poilievre. “Perhaps people picture Pierre Poil…
Mark Carney pretty sure being PM will be as easy as this election campaign has been
“I assume I’ll just show up and everything will unfold perfectly for me at all times right?” Guest host Ian MacIntyre and the Panel (Nile Seguin, Clare Blackwood and Diana McCal…
Poilievre rushed to safety after actual journalist question makes it past security
CALGARY – During an outdoor campaign rally security rushed a shaken Pierre Poilievre to safety after he was tragically struck by a lone journalist’s question. “Mr. Poilievre was…
Poilievre promises to make microplastics even bigger
MONTREAL – With a week left in the federal election, Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre announced how if Canadians vote for him, he will bring back single use plastic and drastically increase t…
We tried to write a debate analysis, but Jagmeet Singh kept interrupting us
MONTREAL – Despite efforts to reflect on the federal leaders debate for the 2025 election, any analysis was cut short due to repeated interruptions from NDP Leader Jagmeet Singh. The debate…
Mark Carney not sure what he has to do to alienate left-wing voters
“How many times do I need to announce tax cuts or tell Palestinian activists to pound sand before you go back to the NDP?” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Nile Seguin and Jocelyn G…
