NETHERWORLD – Noted hobgoblin-about-town Robin Redpath was spotted far from his regular domestic haunts cavorting with a retinue of goblins, scandalizing those who believe the two species s…
Tag: Featured Post
Justin Trudeau announces another thing for Poilievre to cancel next year
OTTAWA – Yesterday Justin Trudeau made a bold commitment, announcing billions of dollars in funding for a massive government program to make Canadians lives better in some way, which Pierre…
Fall festival just summer festival with scarecrow
AIRDRIE – Airdrie’s annual Harvest Festival is clearly just the town’s annual Summer Carnival with some scarecrows and hay bales thrown in, according to underwhelmed sources. “Look, they crossed …
The Beaverton Is Dying. Unless You Save It
Beloved Readers, When we started The Beaverton we were just a bunch of smartasses trying to make each other laugh during our weekly meeting on the second floor of a disgusting pub behind Honest E…
Coworker putting up Christmas decorations justifiably murdered
TORONTO — Account manager Andrea Gill was quietly dispatched on Tuesday after spending the weekend festooning her workplace with Christmas decorations. “She’d been starting earlier every year,” s…
Lame-ass ghost turns out to be metaphor for grief instead of a cool chain-rattling guy
OTTAWA – Allison Carver, who has recently experienced a series of paranormal events in her home, has told reporters that she was disappointed to discover she’s undergoing a boring, metaphorical h…
BC Conservative leader clarifies that every batshit thing he’s ever said was a misunderstanding unless you agree with it
VICTORIA – As the provincial election draws to a close, Conservative Party of B.C. leader John Rustad is making a last push to appeal to voters by denying everything he’s ever said that the…
5 funniest options for which Conservative MP engaged in foreign interference
Yesterday Justin Trudeau stated that Conservative “Parliamentarians” are engaged in foreign interference in Canadian elections. And many observers pointed out that it was a bit odd fo…
Trudeau invites Canadians to play a new game called ‘Guess That Traitor!’
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau unveiled a new game for Canadians to play during his testimony before the committee on foreign interference in Canada’s elections, in which people wil…
Fans not falling for Oilers ‘maybe we suck’ bullshit this year
EDMONTON – NHL fans have made it clear that the Oilers starting the season by looking like one of the worst teams in the league will not fool them like it did last year. “I don’…
