Laval, QC – Humanity’s quest to discover the fundamental truth about our existence has been solved, as it turns out to be located in the personal story section of a recipe for homemad…
Tag: Featured Post
White supremacist organization clears white supremacist of white supremacy
ATLANTA – Asian residents breathed a sigh of relief yesterday when the Atlanta Police Department, a white supremacist organization, cleared white supremacist terrorist, Robert Aaron Long, o…
Zack Snyder confirms new Justice League cut is four hours long because it’s entirely in slow motion
LOS ANGELES – On the cusp of the release of Zack Snyder’s Justice League on HBO Max, director Zack Snyder has revealed that the film was shot as a 121 minute story which has been stretched …
Unpromising young man reviews ‘Promising Young Woman’
LOS ANGELES – Ryan Booker, an unpromising man from Los Angeles, has finally gotten a chance to post his review of Promising Young Woman on Letterboxd. “I am very excited to share my views o…
Toronto residents announce plans to pronounce even fewer letters in word ‘Toronto’
TORONTO – Local residents have announced plans to continue dropping letters from their pronunciation of the name of their city. “In the 50s we made the choice to drop the second T, an…
Uber lobbies provincial governments to classify its drivers as livestock
VICTORIA – Uber Technologies Inc. is petitioning provincial governments to enact regulatory changes to allow Uber and other companies to provide gig workers with all the benefits and safety…
79-year old with fake ID trying to keep it cool in vaccination line
Barrie, ON – Local septuagenarian Elise Reede is reportedly trying to avoid drawing attention to her forged ID that says she’s 80 years old while she waits to receive a COVID vaccination. “…
Seagull quits cigarette butts in favour of discarded Juul pods
VANCOUVER – Mirroring the popular shift from smoking to vaping amongst human smokers, a nicotine-addicted seagull has switched from eating cigarette butts to eating discarded Juul pods. “Th…
Hockey Night In Canada names Piers Morgan new host of Coach’s Corner
TORONTO – Hockey Night in Canada announced today that they were bringing back their long-running Coach’s Corner first-intermission segment with Ron MacLean and new ‘Coach’ Piers Morgan. “Pi…
Quiz: Was seeing Jean Chretien choke a guy your sexual awakening or are you normal?
While most young people experience sexual awakenings as a result of cute movie stars, attractive musicians, or even neighbourhood hotties, a population of Canadians were lucky enough to have Jean…
