HOLLYWOOD – In a dramatic and unforeseen turn of events, Julianna Markus, contestant on popular cooking show Chopped may not be able to finish making her meal before the time limit expires. “I t...
New Health Canada ads educate Canadians on risks of voting Liberal
OTTAWA – Health Canada will release a series of television commercials warning Canadians about the dangers of voting for the Liberal Party. “It’s a gateway to socialism,” said Minister of Health...
Minimal effort put into Facebook birthday greeting
CRANBROOK, BC – After being reminded by Facebook of a birthday, local man Terrance Otis placed very little effort into wishing his distant friend a happy birthday. Otis, 24, simply used the acro...
Target hopes to reverse fortunes in Canada by operating under new ‘Zellers’ brand
TORONTO – With its business taking a beating after only one year operating in Canada, Target is hoping to draw customers back in by renaming its Canadian operation ‘Zellers.’ “We know this year ...
US considers decriminalizing blackness in wake of Missouri shootings
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The recent surge in civil unrest following the shooting of an unarmed black teenager by police in Ferguson, Missouri has U.S. lawmakers contemplating the decriminalization of blackn...
Kevin O’Leary eager to start unpaid internship at BNN
TORONTO – Canadian business magnate and television personality Kevin O’Leary is looking forward to beginning his internship at Business News Network next week. “I’m just so excited to have my fo...
Auditor reveals Alison Redford spent over $70,000.00 in taxpayer money on her resignation letter
CALGARY – An addendum to the damming report of the Auditor General of Alberta on former Premier Alison Redford’s expenses has revealed that, in addition to the malfeasance that drove her from of...
Dynamic businessman outsources his extra-marital affairs
VANCOUVER – A local executive has developed an innovative way to be unfaithful to his wife by contracting out extra-marital affairs to a third party located offshore. “Frankly, I found cheating ...
UPDATE: Justin Trudeau autobiography just 340 full-page photos of Justin Trudeau
OTTAWA – With the 2015 elections fast approaching, Justin Trudeau is preparing to release a meditative, compelling autobiography composed entirely of photographs of the Liberal party leader. “I ...
