CALGARY – An addendum to the damming report of the Auditor General of Alberta on former Premier Alison Redford’s expenses has revealed that, in addition to the malfeasance that drove her from office, her resignation letter itself cost the province many thousands of dollars.
“Premier Redford used public funds to fly in a speech writer to ghost write her speech. She also demanded the government buy her a new laptop to write the speech, and paid her daughter and all her classmates thousands of dollars to proofread it before it was sent to the press,” the auditor’s addendum report revealed.
“Ms. Redford appears to be either unfamiliar with, or distrustful of, Microsoft spell check,” it added.
Perhaps the Auditor’s most shocking finding is that Redford insisted her letter not be printed on paper, but on a fine sheet of silk, hand woven by Buddhist monks in Thailand.
Reached for comment on how she could have spent this much on a letter announcing a resignation due to an expense scandal, Redford shrugged and stated “This is just what I do. And honestly $70,000.00 was nothing. You should have seen how expensive the shit they talked me out of doing would have been.”
Redford then offered to draft another letter apologizing for these new expenses, at which point everyone in the province collectively threw their hands into the air and yelled “No!”
