OTTAWA – In a sign of respect, politicians of all stripes have promptly changed their opinion of their now deceased colleague from negative to positive. “He was a great man,” lied a fellow lawma...
IMF unveils elite new currency only rich people can use
WASHINGTON — International Monetary Fund Managing director Christine Lagarde yesterday unveiled a new luxury currency that will be used to provide those in the one percent a stable, convenient alterna...
Man adds stick figure family to back windshield compensating for loneliness, sterility
THUNDER BAY – Arthur Brown, 38, has decorated the rear windshield of his 2001 Toyota Matrix with a fictitious family in order to blend into a new neighbourhood, masking the loneliness and steril...
Canada Post to push people out of wheelchairs to see if home delivery needed
OTTAWA – Persons with disabilities, seniors and the very ill will now be required to be pushed out of their wheelchairs by Canada Post in order to prove that they need home delivery services. “A...
New $6 Starbucks drink consists entirely of foam
TORONTO – Kicking off its new Fall menu next week, Starbucks has unveiled its new drink that consists entirely of foam. The ‘Frothachino’ consists of small bubbles made from a steamer and comes ...
Sun Media unable to get Facebook satire tag removed from articles
TORONTO – Sun Media has reported difficulty in getting Facebook’s new ‘satire’ tag removed from their articles. “I just don’t understand what we’re doing wrong,” said columnist Joe Warmington as...
Burger King execs still waiting in line at Tim Hortons
SARNIA, ON – A pair of Burger King executives were late for a merger meeting after being stuck in a line for over 20-minutes at a local Tim Hortons. The quick service restaurant executives decid...
Harper: ‘But there are so many aboriginal women that aren’t missing’
OTTAWA – Addressing concerns over comments made earlier this week regarding the death of 15-year-old Tina Fontaine, Harper told reporters yesterday that, while aboriginal women are 3.5 times mor...
New Health Canada ads educate Canadians on risks of voting Liberal (Radio News Update)
OTTAWA – Health Canada will release a series of television commercials warning Canadians about the dangers of voting for the Liberal Party. Anchor: Aaron Hagey-Mackay Sound Effect: Mansardian / ...
