Kidnapping at preschool leaves 17 kids well rested
TORONTO – A kidnapping at a local preschool has led to an entire class of kids being fresh and ready to concentrate on new play-based learning curriculum. Citing parental complaints, the governme…
Local construction project awakens community’s environmental activism, dormant alien race
STRATHMORE, AB – The second phase of the construction of a massive golf course in Strathmore, Alberta has struck a chord with environmentally conscious members of the suburb, as well as with the …
Fantino thanks veterans for bravely sacrificing services so Canadians can have a free and balanced budget
OTTAWA – Veterans Affairs Minister Julian Fantino made a public apology to veterans for showing up late to an important meeting, and also took the opportunity to thank them for their sacrif…
I just want to share the game I love, and be treated like a living god in the process
BY DENNIS RODMAN You know I’ve taken a lot of heat during my career. Whether it’s for the dyed hair and the piercings, headbutting opponents, refusing to leave the court after being e…
Putin hires Cossacks to protect Sochi from terrorists, Prussians
Sochi, Russia – Following a number of high profile security threats, Russian President Vladimir Putin has retained the services of hundreds of Cossacks, once the fabled horse-backed soldier…
Trudeau removes pants after nation’s women demand greater transparency
OTTAWA – Liberal Leader Justin Trudeau has made a radical move in removing his pants after hearing the demands of many Canadian women for greater transparency in Canadian politics. The sudd…
Breakthrough deal made as Blackberry shareholders agree on Thai food
WATERLOO – Significant progress has been made at the troubled tech giant Blackberry after shareholders agreed that they should eat Thai food at the next meeting. The decision was made at 11…
The Ladies are going to love this new fedora
By Myron Wales Today’s ladies are looking for a more sophisticated class of man. Gone are the days when a ragamuffin with a heart of gold could win the affection of a fair maid. The modern dating…
Reader surprised to discover Hemingway’s ‘Farewell to Arms’ not about author’s loss of limbs
Surrey, BC – Readers everywhere were shocked when they realized that Ernest Hemingway’s classic war novel A Farewell to Arms was not about the graphic loss of the author’s limbs. “A l…
Americans celebrate their version of The Junos
LOS ANGELES, CA – The American counterpart to Canada’s largest music industry awards show celebrated their best-and-brightest stars Sunday evening, with a gala event that rivals even the gl…
