WASHINGTON DC — In a move that has shocked employees around the world, Joe Biden announced today that he would be stepping out of the presidential race, making it the first time in recorded history th...
New voluntary code of conduct ensures Canada’s grocers are finally answerable to Canada’s grocers
OTTAWA – All of Canada’s major grocery retailers have agreed to sign on to a voluntary code of conduct that will ensure any retailer who breaks the code will have to answer to themselves. “I am ...
Canadians fail to notice difference as global IT outage disrupts airlines, banks, health care
OTTAWA – As a global tech outage disrupts operations in multiple industries, including airlines, banks, and health care, citizens across Canada have reported assuming that the poor service was m...
Biden assures Democrats COVID diagnosis won’t stop him from losing election
WASHINGTON DC – Following an announcement that he has contracted COVID-19 for a second time, US President Biden has assured worried Democratic lawmakers that this diagnosis will not impede his p...
Federal government announces O Canada will now begin with 15 seconds of unskippable ads
OTTAWA – The federal government has announced that, beginning on January 1, 2025, all renditions of O Canada played anywhere in the country will be required to start with 15 seconds of unskippab...
Trudeau assures Liberals they just need to ride out this 28 month polling dip
OTTAWA – Facing pressure to step aside, beleaguered Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has encouraged his party’s MPs to hold and see if they can just wait out their current 2 plus years of bad...
All emotional support tabs lost in recent Chrome update
Charlottetown, PEI – Despite promises that all tabs would reopen, a trusting local woman lost all of her emotional support tabs in a recent Chrome update. Michelle Greene has had at least 83 tab...
Report: Whatever you need to do to mentally prepare yourself for a second Trump Presidency, go ahead and get started
WASHINGTON D.C. – In the wake of Joe Biden’s debate performance and Donald Trump surviving an assassination attempt, a report from the University of Toronto political sciences department r...
Panicked Ford works to resolve LCBO strike before conservative voters sober up
QUEEN’S PARK – In the wake of an LCBO strike, Premier Doug Ford has reportedly been working around the clock to secure Ontarian’s access to hard liquor, as keeping conservative voter...
Canada looks to break humiliating 106-year South American soccer championship drought
EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. – The Canadian men’s national soccer team plays Argentina in the Copa America semi-final tonight, as Canada looks to end its pathetic century-long title drought in South America’...
