WORLD – In response to the North Korean Worker’s Party recent “final authorization” for a nuclear strike against US targets, the roughly 6.975-billion people living outside of ...
3 innings into opening night, city of Toronto remembers how boring baseball is
TORONTO – After a frenzied offseason that featured huge trades, marquee free agent signings, and an excitement in the Blue Jays not seen since their back to back World Series championships, the ...
None of this would have happened had you flossed
By Dr. W. Scott Harrington Look, we’ve been through this many times: brush your teeth in the morning and at night, don’t eat sugary foods and floss daily. I hate to sound like a broken rec...
Son, it’s time I told you about your father’s and my sex life
By Jeanette Francis Listen son, I know that this is the sort of thing that you’re not usually supposed to talk about with your children, but mama’s had a couple of wines and you’re cornered in this ki...
Young conservative man unable to contain sexual attraction to Justin Trudeau
OTTAWA – Although he is violently opposed to Justin Trudeau’s political party’s leanings, Jeffrey Soloman, a 23-year-old Conservative Party supporter, is unable to contain his sexual attraction ...
Ralph Klein’s death makes Canadians think they liked Ralph Klein
CALGARY – In the wake of Friday’s passing of legendary Alberta premier Ralph Klein, Canadians from across the country have come together to mourn, celebrate a life, and praise a man they are cho...
Crosby has head surgically removed in order to play out rest of playoffs
PITTSBURGH, PA – Following his recent concussion Penguins captain and NHL leading scorer Sidney Crosby underwent a new elective surgery this morning to separate his head from his body in an effo...
