WASHINGTON D.C. — In the wake of several deadly mass shootings, including one in Sutherland Springs, Texas, GOP lawmakers introduced a substantial tax break on the ‘thoughts and prayers’ th…
U.S.
US imposes 300% duty on Ryans, accuses Canada of handsomeness dumping
WASHINGTON, D.C. – NAFTA talks took another nasty turn as the U.S. Commerce Department announced an immediate 300% tariff on all Ryans imported from Canada. “The United States remains committed t…
Liberals rejoice as Manafort indictment leaves only 87 steps left in Trump impeachment process
Don’t get too excited about the Manafort indictment……
Trump not worried about being indicted since he has air tight insanity defence
Turns out Trump has a pretty solid defence if Mueller ever tries to indict him.…
America terrified newly released O.J. Simpson will steal memorabilia again
L.A. – Americans from coast to coast are reporting a deep fear that infamous criminal Orenthal James (O.J.) Simpson will once again commit the deed for which he is most known: breaking into…
Mike Pence protests anthem protest with protest during anthem
INDIANAPOLIS — Citing his refusal to participate in any activity “that disrespects our soldiers, our Flag, or our National Anthem,” US Vice President voiced his displeasure with NFL players prote…
History getting pretty fucking tired of having to repeat itself
WORLDWIDE – History’s voice was hoarse this morning and its tone increasingly impatient due to being pretty fucking sick of repeating itself. “Jesus Christ, we’ve ALREADY BEEN OVER THIS!!” …
David Schwimmer reports OJ Simpson won’t leave his home or stop calling him Robert Kardashian
LOS ANGELES – After playing his deceased best friend Robert Kardashian on the hit television series American Crime Story, OJ Simpson, now released from a nine-year prison sentence, refuses …
Outrage! Trump fires White House falconer
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a stunning move that shocked Washington insiders, President Trump unilaterally fired long-time White House falconer James McElroy. “He’s been with us since the Carter adminis…
Hugh Hefner’s ashes interred within shoebox at back of your dad’s sock drawer
LOS ANGELES – With the passing of Hugh Hefner this week, the estate announced today that the final earthly remains of the Playboy founder and cultural icon will be cremated and then interre…
