NANAIMO, BC — The City of Nanaimo admitted today that despite being the place where its near 100,000 residents call their home, live their lives, and dream their dreams, those accomplishments pal…
Travel
Studies confirm watching an in-flight movie from four rows behind makes it 10x better
VANCOUVER, BC — Researchers at University of British Columbia have confirmed the theory that watching an in-flight movie from four rows behind makes it 10x better. “It’s an age-old question that …
Modern Carmen Sandiego? This woman has 2 airport codes in her Insta bio
TORONTO OR VANCOUVER? – In a move reminiscent of the ever elusive, world-traveling children’s character Carmen Sandiego, Canadian influencer Megan Jones shocked followers yesterday when she…
Let’s Go Brandon, Manitoba! tourism campaign deemed failure
BRANDON, MB – The Tourism Board of Manitoba had prematurely ended a campaign designed to draw travelers to the city of Brandon, Manitoba, citing ‘unforeseen circumstances.’ Mackenzie …
US Border reopening reunites hundreds of Americans with their fake girlfriends
BUFFALO, NY – With the US-Canadian land border reopened for fully vaccinated travelers, hundreds of Americans are excited to be reunited with the fictional significant others they made up t…
Torontonians desperate for white friends with cottages who also like seasoning on food
TORONTO – Summer is in full swing, and as is customary, multiple locals have set out to try and acquire the rarest of rare humans- a white friend with a cottage who also likes food to be ad…
Unvaccinated Americans swayed by chance to visit Thompson, Manitoba
THOMPSON, MB — The federal government announced today that Canada will be opening its borders to fully-vaccinated Americans starting August 9th. Across the border, Ottawa’s announcement has seemi…
Local 12th-grader excited to spend gap year backpacking around house
QUINTE WEST, ON — Local 17-year-old Hunter Ryan is finalizing plans for his long-anticipated one-year backpacking tour of his parents’ house. “It’s gonna be an awesome chance to spread my w…
Oh No: This COVID hotel has themed rooms
Need yet another reason to postpone travel during this once-in-a-century global pandemic? This quarantine hotel has you covered – by mandating themed rooms for all international arrivals! T…
Nation’s lonesome travellers sick of telling wayward dogs to “g’on now, get”
BOXCAR JUNCTION – In a rare break from nomadic life, the nation’s lonesome travellers assembled today inside a moving freight car they all hopped into, to declare they are sick of telling w…