OTTAWA – In an attempt to her boost sagging poll numbers, and put an end to the relentless, crushing loneliness that haunts her every waking moment, Conservative leadership hopeful Kellie Leitch …
Politics
Kellie Leitch continues to follow in Trump’s footsteps by sexually assaulting multiple women
OTTAWA – Continuing to follow the game plan laid out for her by President Donald Trump’s successful campaign, Kellie Leitch has gone out of her way to brag about sexually assaulting a numbe…
Black Lives Matter’s rhetoric too divisive says man calling Trump Hitler
TORONTO—Seated with a group of friends over brunch earlier this week, local man Tim Edwards was seen ruefully explaining how Black Lives Matter Toronto’s rhetoric has gotten too hyperbolic, espec…
Tony Clement blasts CBC for unethical practice of expecting him to answer questions
OTTAWA – Conservative MP Tony Clement took to social media this week to air his grievances with the CBC over the broadcaster’s unscrupulous interview tactic of expecting clear answers to simple q…
Tories to support anti-racism motion if ‘Muslims’ are defined as ‘Jews’, ‘Christians’
OTTAWA – Certain members of the Conservative caucus said they would be willing to support the motion condemning Islamophobia so long as ‘Muslims’ are defined as ‘Jews’, ‘Christians’, or any…
Science Minister discovers parliamentary interns solve maze 20% faster after Serum injection
OTTAWA – In a major discovery, Science Minister Kirsty Duncan has found that Parliamentary Pages solve her mazes an average of 20% faster, after a course of Serum injections. “On the left, …
Tory MPs laugh at colleague who once performed manual labour without servant help
OTTAWA – Conservative MPs had a great laugh at the expense of Infrastructure Minister Amarjeet Sohi after hearing he once had a job involving manual labour and no help from domestic servant…
Experts: next Tory leader will be candidate whose tie has largest Windsor
OTTAWA – With the Conservative leadership race heating up, experts say the next party leader will be whoever has the biggest, most ostentatious tie knot around their neck. “Tory voters need…
Kevin O’Leary wears disguise to volunteer at soup kitchen without attracting attention
RED DEER – Sources have confirmed that businessman and Conservative leadership frontrunner Kevin O’Leary donned a disguise so that he could serve underprivileged people without calling atte…
Liberals defending “routine” $1550 a plate plate-smashing event
OTTAWA – Insisting their party was not a fundraising event and simply a conventional gathering of like-minded citizens, the federal Liberals are defending their second annual “Plate-Smash-a…
