SEATTLE – Executives at Starbucks Coffee Company are working overtime to create a new drink to herald in impeachment season for U.S. President Donald Trump. Following the news that Trump ac…
Politics
Scheer: We must stop erasing Canadian history by learning about all of it
OTTAWA – During a campaign announcement that promised free attendance at Canadian museums, Conservative leader Andrew Scheer lamented the fact that political correctness is destroying Canad…
All political parties admit their opponents won the debate
GATINEAU, QC – In a rare display of self-reflection, the Liberals, Conservatives, NDP, Greens, Bloc and People’s Party admitted that their opponents fared much better in the federal leaders…
Party leaders spar over Canada’s only province of Quebec
GATINEAU, QC – Canada’s six party leaders took to the podiums last night to debate the most important issues facing their province in the minority language of English. Making up 100% of the…
Update: Scheer kept US citizenship secret for fear of being persecuted as a white American man
REGINA – Conservative leader Andrew Scheer said that he kept his US citizenship a secret until now for fear of being persecuted as a white heterosexual male from the United States. “I didn’…
Conservatives vow to cut $2.2 billion of foreign aid to Middle-earth
OTTAWA – Conservative leader Andrew Scheer further outlined his foreign aid policies by announcing a $2.2 billion cut to Middle-earth, roughly 25% of Canada’s foreign assistance to other co…
Hamilton pleads for political demonstrators to save their violence for a Ti-Cats game
HAMILTON, ON – After a scuffle and screaming match in Hamilton yesterday, community leaders have asked local political demonstrators to reserve their hate and transgressions for a Tiger-Cat…
Andrew Scheer quickly deletes “Prime Minister” from resume
TORONTO – Hoping no one has yet noticed the exaggeration on his resume, Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer has quickly deleted details outlining that he was Prime Minister from 2006 until 20…
Communist Party candidate forced to resign after photos reveal him reading Ayn Rand
OTTAWA – A Communist Party of Canada candidate was forced to resign after photos were released of him reading Atlas Shrugged as a university student. Fred Buck, a candidate for the Ottawa r…
Trudeau comes to Montreal climate strike to protest self
MONTREAL – Wearing his ‘We Only Have 1 Earth’ t-shirt and hitting a pot with a wooden spoon, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau marched through the streets of Montreal to protest his government’…
