OTTAWA – As an olive branch from the Trudeau government to the Indigenous groups showing solidarity with the Wet’suwet’en hereditary chiefs by blocking some of Canada’s busiest railways, In…
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GasLink claims many First Nations support the pipeline, just not the one whose land they’re putting the pipeline on
VANCOUVER- The company behind the Coastal GasLink pipeline has reasserted that many First Nations have signed off on the project, just not the nation whose unceded land they are currently buildin…
VIA Rail relieved they don’t have to use bullshit ‘passing freight train’ excuse for late trains
VIA Rail relieved they don’t have to use bullshit ‘passing freight train’ excuse for late trains BELLVILLE, ON – VIA Rail has expressed relief that now they have a legitim…
Trudeau slides into African Union’s DMs
ADDIS ABABA – A flirtatious Justin Trudeau has slid into the DMs of the African Union’s Instagram account while on a charm offensive throughout the continent. “Heeeeey, you seem familiar, d…
Harry fired from temp job after giving too many inspirational speeches at drive thru window
VICTORIA – The Duke of Sussex’s employment at a local Tim Hortons was terminated today after he repeatedly gave customers long, uplifting speeches about their important role in society. The…
Military’s procurement of generic snow shovel 10 years late, $6 billion over budget
OTTAWA – The Department of National Defence’s procurement process to replace its aging snow shovels has been further delayed while the cost has inflated to over $6 billion. The military has…
Rex Murphy parachuted into Australian wildfires to deny climate change
SYDNEY – Postmedia columnist and professional old man Rex Murphy has been parachuted into Australia’s massive forest where support for denying climate change and doing nothing about it has …
New charity helps royal immigrants integrate into Canada’s high society
TORONTO – In response to the Prince and Princess of Sussex relocation of Canada, a new charity has been established to help the pair as well as other royals better integrate into Canada’s u…
Unskilled foreigners seek move to Canada
OTTAWA – A British and American couple, both unemployed, are seeking to emigrate to Canada despite having no real skills to offer the country, early reports indicate. British and American m…
Bearded Justin Trudeau revealed to be evil doppelganger, Trustin Judeau
OTTAWA — After a post-holiday Instagram post featuring a bearded Prime Minister Justin Trudeau caused a media stir, the subject of the photo was actually revealed to be Trudeau’s evil twin,…
