OTTAWA – Recently, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau asked for a dissolution of parliament. With many condemning him due to its unencessity, Trudeau took to his Twitter, instead, to run a poll …
National
Trudeau asks Governor General to declare election takesies backsies
OTTAWA – As the Conservative Party surges in the polls, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has asked Governor General Mary Simon to revoke the election writ that dropped two weeks ago, invoking …
O’Toole: There is no ‘I’ in Conservatve Party
OTAWA — Conservative Leader Erin O’ Toole was put on the defensive this week after CPC campaign materials containing numerous spelling errors found their way to the public. Repeatedly denying any…
Conservatives take quick break on “stop living in fear” platform for “COVID is very scary we shouldn’t have an election” platform
OTTAWA – Canadian right-wingers have announced a brief break from the usual “we cannot live in fear” rhetoric for their new slogan “COVID is very scary and so an election is super dangerous…
Liberals: “A vote for the NDP is a vote for Harper…I mean Scheer…I mean O’Toole”
OTTAWA – As the federal election campaign enters week two, the Liberals are once again reminding Canadians that voting for the NDP will only help the scary Conservative Party leader, whoeve…
Government employee quits, demands new 4 year contract
OTTAWA – Despite being just 2 years into a 4 year contract, local civil servant Justin Trudeau abruptly resigned on Sunday, and then simultaneously demanded a brand new 4 year contract. …
Conservatives outraged by new requirement of “a passport” to travel
OTTAWA – Canadian conservatives are throwing heavy criticism at the federal government for mandating passports for international travel. “What a terrible inconvenience our government has in…
Maclean’s Curse strikes again
WINNIPEG – With Jason Kenney resigning, another victim has fallen to the might of the Maclean’s Resistance Cover curse. “I knew when Andrew and Brian went down that the rest of …
Canada changes national anthem to “O Fuck, Y’All, Here Comes Canada”
TOKYO – The Olympics’ closing ceremonies were interrupted by Canada’s confident new anthem, which announced itself with sirens and airhorns. After a hype man shouted “O fuck, y’all, here comes Ca…
Report: Canada just one big American shell corporation
PARIS, FR – After decades of research and investigation forensic accountants have determined that Canada, originally named 33256 Ltd, has been operating as a shell corporation for the congr…
