OTTAWA – Royal Canadian Navy officials were overjoyed on Tuesday to learn that their most advanced ship, which was last seen in 1848, had finally been located near King William Island. “This is a…
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Edmonton man can’t scratch mosquito bites due to snow gloves
EDMONTON – Local man Taylor Webster has been having difficulty satisfactorily scratching the many mosquito bites he got last week at the lake, likely because the recent snowfall has require…
Harper finally gets to send troops to Iraq after 11 year wait
NEWPORT, WALES – After waiting over a decade, Prime Minister Stephen Harper will get his wish to send Canadian troops to Iraq. “Canada can be proud to fight alongside with our US allies in …
Canadian actors excited to meet real celebrities at TIFF
TORONTO – As the Toronto International Film Festival is set to get under way, Canadian stars are nervously awaiting their chance to finally meet real-life American celebrities. “I play poke…
Thousands of BC students unable to skip school
VANCOUVER – As the province of BC’s public school teachers continue their strike this week, approximately 500,000 students are left unable to skip school. “Where am I supposed to drop my ch…
Canada Post to push people out of wheelchairs to see if home delivery needed
OTTAWA – Persons with disabilities, seniors and the very ill will now be required to be pushed out of their wheelchairs by Canada Post in order to prove that they need home delivery service…
Burger King execs still waiting in line at Tim Hortons
SARNIA, ON – A pair of Burger King executives were late for a merger meeting after being stuck in a line for over 20-minutes at a local Tim Hortons. The quick service restaurant executives …
Harper: ‘But there are so many aboriginal women that aren’t missing’
OTTAWA – Addressing concerns over comments made earlier this week regarding the death of 15-year-old Tina Fontaine, Harper told reporters yesterday that, while aboriginal women are 3.5 time…
Harper visits Arctic to discuss Northern photo development
IQALUIT – After a long flight from Ottawa, Prime Minister Stephen Harper arrived in the North earlier this week to sit down and discuss with Northern leaders and communities on the progress…
Feds cite ‘Lazy River Ride’ as evidence that waterways are lazy, undeserving of protection
VAUGHAN — After a weekend spent at Splash Works with his family, Conservative MP Peter Kent resolved to remove all remaining protections enjoyed by Canada’s rivers, citing the Lazy River R…
