OTTAWA – Despite countless campaigns, television ads, posters, and educational programs, only a small portion of the Canadian population seems to have grasped the concept of washing their h…
Health
Jogger decides to sprint
BURNABY, BC – 32-year-old jogger Walter Finnesky made the decision to run faster on Tuesday. “I was puttering along, and this kid rides by so slowly on a bike,” Finnesky said. “So I picked …
Study: Comedians make better lovers
MONTREAL – Comedians exhibit greater sensitivity and sexual stamina according to a new study published by McGill University. The study ranked sexual performance and partner satisfaction acc…
Health Canada warns cases of voter fatigue syndrome may reach epidemic levels by election day
OTTAWA – When Todd Gleck experienced shooting pains throughout his upper body after being greeted by yet another political canvessor, the 41-year-old father of three figured he simply neede…
Health Canada releases new set of Fat Warning Labels
OTTAWA – Health Canada released a series of disturbing anti-inactivity, anti-junk food warning labels this week in an effort to combat the country’s high rates of obesity. The warnings will…
REPORT: Majority of teens suffer post-dramatic TV-show disorder
Four months ago, Jesse Sparks, 13, thought she was living the life of a normal teen. But shortly after starting high school, she began suffering bouts of extreme confusion. Now home-schooled and …
Guy on exercise bike increases workload to impress cute girl
ETOBICOKE, ON – While using an exercise bike at his local gym last Tuesday, Ryan Savage, an infrequent gym patron, increased the machine’s speed and resistance after noticing a cute girl wa…
