FREDERICTON, N.B. – PR worker and aspiring social media phenom Deirdre Waynes is certain that her latest tweet from the account of McMillan Holdings and Sales Ltd. will not unleash a massiv…
Business
Workplace accidents fall to zero after factory institutes strict ‘walk-it-off’ policy
HAMILTON, ON – Metallic refinery ConCan Steel has made it through an entire year with a flawless safety record after implementing a revolutionary “walk-it-off” policy, where employees compl…
McDonald’s introduces the McMigrant worker
VICTORIA – Fast food chain McDonald’s unveiled its new line of workers called the McMigrant on Monday. “Canadians are familiar with our minimum wage labour jobs that are usually occupied by…
The Economist surprises readers by using term ‘gambit’ in story title
LONDON – In a move that has stirred controversy among regular readers, a renowned news and international affairs publication has unearthed an unusual, yet clever term. The Economist magazin…
Popular hipster cafe ironically serving instant coffee
MONTREAL – Recently opened hipster cafe “The Twig” is making a name for itself by serving “nostalgic” instant coffee complete with white refined sugar and powdered c…
Little Caesar’s hosts blood drive on Ides of March
DETROIT – In a show of corporate and community involvement, the Little Caesar’s pizza chain in Detroit will be hosting blood drives during the Ides of March. “Anyone who comes in during the Ides …
Man trapped in IKEA for three weeks emerges knowing only how to församla the fyrkantig
MONTREAL – After being lost inside the Montreal IKEA superstore for over three weeks, a local man is now only able to converse in IKEA themed Swedish. Jerry Larsson, who subsisted mainly on…
Employee improves net earnings by using less effort per hour
KING CITY, ON – With the likelihood of an increase in minimum wage diminishing with each passing increase in the cost of living, one man is bucking this trend by working less to increase hi…
Flaherty aide spends three days editing swear words out of 2014 budget
OTTAWA – To prepare the 2014 budget for its unveiling, sources report that Flaherty’s top aide, Luisa McManus, worked round the clock to remove all obscenities from the document. “How much …
Gifts in WestJet’s viral Christmas video taken from Air Canada’s lost luggage
TORONTO — In a move contrary to the apparent benevolence, most of the presents in the WestJet’s Christmas Miracle video were taken from Air Canada’s lost luggage room, re-boxed, wrapp…
