WHITEHORSE – Following a series of failures, months of delays and technical problems, the city of Whitehorse is suing Bombardier over its new dogsled-based public transit system. Transportation M…
Business
Nike boosts sales with new shoes targeted at young, wealthy centipedes
NEW YORK – Nike announced today that 2015 was its most successful year ever, crediting their massive increase in sales to a specialty line of sneakers that targeted the under-served “young,…
Recalled flip-flops flip, fail to flop
Fairfax, NFLD – Feather Feet, formerly Fairfax Footwear, has recalled their first famed flip-flop franchise, the Freezy Flow, for flipping, but failing to flop. Faulty manufacturing on the …
Worker bees unionize
MEDICINE HAT, AB – For the first time in apiary history, worker bees are organizing to stand up for their basic rights. “People think bees don’t need to sleep,” said Worker Bee #458909. “We…
CBC sends Justin Trudeau holiday gift basket complete with artisanal CBC donation box
OTTAWA – In the spirit of the season, Prime Minister Trudeau has received a gift basket from the CBC filled with shortbread cookies, dried fruits, and a beautifully hand-carved donation box…
LCBO website hacked by Anonymous Alcoholics
TORONTO – The website of the Liquor Control Board of Ontario, North America’s largest distributor of liquor and wine, was hacked last night by the notorious online group Anonymous Alcoholic…
New workplace stress training empowers employees to blame selves
Newmarket, ON — A new workplace stress management course at office supply distributor Nanco Dynamics will help ensure employees take responsibility for their stress rather than blaming a dy…
Mark Zuckerberg to donate 99% of your personal information to charity
PALO ALTO, CA – In a move that shocked business insiders for its generosity and selflessness, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg and his wife Priscilla Chan have pledged that they will donate…
Amazon.com mails out 260,000 page home shopping catalog
NORTH AMERICA – Just in time for the holiday season, online retailer Amazon.com has released its annual catalog of the products available on its website, a convenient tool for home shoppers…
