FREDERICTON — Deeming the act of quickly replying to a work email to be too difficult, local man Eric Stevenson has put off the task for multiple days, despite the fact that it would take him les…
Business
Nestle accuses public of evil-shaming
VEVEY, SWITZERLAND – In a statement from Nestle headquarters, Chairman Peter Brabeck-Letmathe has accused the general public of discriminatory behaviour towards the corporation’s acts of pu…
Starbucks opens first ever franchise inside Dave
PETERBOROUGH – After a long fought battle, multinational corporation Starbucks has finally completed construction on a franchise located inside Dave, a Peterborough man. “Dave was a tough m…
No one in social media strategy meeting actually knows how Snapchat works
Florenceville, NB – Attendees at a media strategy session for the McCain Foods company reported enthusiasm over plans to expand awareness to teens using the app Snapchat, despite absolutely…
Shocking report reveals Tim Hortons’ Boston Cream filling not made with Canadian pus
OTTAWA – The nation is in an uproar today, after federal food inspectors conclusively proved that the whitish-yellow inflamed abscesses used in Tim Horton’s Boston Cream donuts are not Cana…
For first time, Tim Hortons releases line of products low in radium
MISSISSAUGA, ON – Breaking with tradition after more than half a century, Tim Hortons has released a line of products containing only a pretty good amount of radium. “Today’s co…
Air Transat installs breathalyzer ignition system for all aircraft
MONTREAL – Montreal-based Air Transat will install a breathalyzer ignition interlock system on all of their fleet’s aircraft to prevent any further incidents of inebriated pilots. “Clearly,…
Report: all that bad stuff at Marineland probably fixed by now
NIAGARA FALLS, ON – A new report affirms all the bad stuff you remember hearing about Marineland a couple of years ago is ‘probably cleared up by now.’ “Oh sure, after all that bad publicit…
Air Canada introduces landing fee to all customers currently in flight
DORVAL, QC – Air Canada has announced a new “landing fee” to all customers who are in mid-flight at the present time. “Our goal at Air Canada is always to provide the best quality service,”…
INFOGRAPHIC: Blackberry vs Canadarm
Is it entirely possible that the Blackberry and the Canadarm are the same thing?…
