The Beaverton investigates the most important CanCon of them all: The Canadian Pornography industry.…
Grey Cup cancelled due to lack of interest
TORONTO – Some CFL fans were disappointed to hear that the League has cancelled the championship game today due to apathy and lack of awareness. Low ticket sales, poor advertising, and Toro…
Marineland rebrands by being cruel to all animals, not just whales
NIAGARA FALLS – Officials at Marineland are adopting a new strategy in branding by being cruel to all of the animals, rather than just the marine mammals. “The mistreatment of the orcas and…
How To: Change A Lightswitch
Changing a lightswitch is pretty tricky stuff. The Beaverton How To is here to help with your weekly dose of educational content.…
President Obama pardons thanksgiving turkey instead of mentally handicapped death row inmate
This is the 8th consecutive year President Obama made the controversial choice.…
Postmedia re-hires laid-off journalists to cater office Christmas party
TORONTO – On the heels of handing out more than $2.3 million in retention bonuses to its five top executives, Postmedia, Canada’s largest, least solvent newspaper chain, has announced that …
Gilmore Girls Quiz: Which one of Rory’s fuckboys are you?
Gilmore Girls is coming back! We can’t wait to see what some of television’s most cherished fuckboys are up to now. While you wait for the Netflix reunion, take this quiz to determine if your rep…
Queen’s students torn on which racist theme-party to go to tonight
KINGSTON, ON – A group of Queen’s University students are divided on which of the five cultural appropriation costume parties they would like to attend this evening. Negotiations to break t…
Genetic Lottery Commercial
What would you do if you won the genetic lotto? The Beaverton airs tonight at 10:30pm (et) on The Comedy Network, immediately followed by our writers panel Facebook Livestream.…
Conservative Party Leadership Profile: Michael Chong
Name: Michael Chong Background: As Minister of Sport in the Harper Cabinet, he was the backup goaltender for Team Canada’s hockey team during the 2006 Turin Olympics and had a 3.25 GAA. Chong wak…
