TORONTO – The Toronto Raptors were eliminated from the playoffs after a hard-fought loss to their arch-rivals, the NBA referees. “It was a really tough game. Very physical, and a lot of cal…
Bashar al-Assad buys L.A. Clippers
LOS ANGELES – Following the lifetime ban of owner Don Sterling, the Los Angeles Clippers have announced that their new owner will be Bashar al-Assad, the current President of Syria. “…
New ‘Star Wars’ film casts Hollywood newcomer Mark Hamill
LOS ANGELES – Lucasfilm has released a photo from a recent table read of the new Stars Wars script, revealing the new leads to be John Boyega, Adam Driver, Daisy Ridley, and exciting unknow…
Drake pretty sure Raptors’ coach will put him in next game
TORONTO – In the lead up to the next Raptors playoff game, rap-artist Drake has been telling friends and family that he has “a pretty good shot” of getting some playing time. &#…
OCAD University: University Reviews 2014
Name: OCAD University Nickname: The Jenga of Universities Motto: “You can’t put a price on art. Wait, yes you can, it’s $6,000 a semester” History: OCAD University was originally founded as the …
Road accidents spike following release of Jumanji: Travel Edition
NORTH AMERICA – The continent’s highways erupted in chaos today when thousands of elephants, rhinos, and giant spiders suddenly appeared in events related to the new popular travel ve…
Fred Phelps surprised heaven is so hot
THE AFTERLIFE – Fred Phelps, the recently deceased founder of the hyper-conservative Westboro Baptist Church, was shocked today to find God’s Kingdom so uncomfortably hotrelig “Well, golly,…
Nation responds to Ellen Page coming out as gay: ‘Okay, cool’
OTTAWA – After learning the news that Canadian actress Ellen Page, best known for her role in Juno, is gay, the nation agreed that it was ‘good’. “I didn’t know she was gay but now I do,” H…
The Ladies are going to love this new fedora
By Myron Wales Today’s ladies are looking for a more sophisticated class of man. Gone are the days when a ragamuffin with a heart of gold could win the affection of a fair maid. The modern dating…
Ryerson University: The Beaverton University Reviews
Name: Ryerson University Nickname: Dave Motto: “The best education you can get in a mall” History: In 1852 at the core of the present main campus, the historic St. James Square, Egerton Ryerson f…
