Toronto, ON – Film historians and critics are flabbergasted after a podcast recorded in Toronto by two men has somehow passed the Bechdel test, used to measure representation of women in fi…
Was 2003 The Best Year Ever? No, But You People Endlessly Crave Nostalgia Therapy
Nostalgia, Canada – By every single metric, 2003 was a pretty sub-par year but you just need to live in any other time than now, don’t you? So now we have to list a bunch of things from a t…
X employee takes extra shifts in Musk’s emerald mine to make ends meet
San Francisco, Zambia – Twitter née X programmer Terry Llyod has picked up a few night shifts in CEO Elon Musk’s emerald mine to pay off some of his rent. “It’s really my only option at thi…
Totally normal guy recommends you watch new anime, “My step-sister is a mail-order bride”
Discord, Ontario – Your totally normal co-worker has once again recommended an animated series you’ve never heard of, this time it’s one called, “My step-sister is a mail-order bride.…
Tinder guy concerned after photo of woman reveals she has physical body
Tinder, iPhone – Local Tinder user Mack Smith has reconsidered messaging a woman on Tinder after seeing concerning photos hinting that she might occupy physical space. “I saw the name ‘Vero…
Couple thrilled new remote includes shortcut buttons for streaming services Quibi, BingBong, and DankDoo
Samsung, Living Room – Deborah and Curtis expressed their excitement over the fact that the new TV remote comes with buttons that take them directly to their favourite streaming services. “…
Mariah Carey admits she also wants a Dyson Airwrap hairdryer for Christmas
LOS ANGELES – The queen of Christmas Mariah Carey has admitted after nearly 30 years of her chart-topping single “All I Want for Christmas Is You,” she finally needs more than just you. “I…
Law and Order: Toronto to follow exciting story of police ignoring gay community about serial killer
Toronto, ON – Producers of the exciting Law and Order series centering around crimes related to Toronto finally revealed what crime the pilot episode will look at. “We’re very excited to ha…
Greedy, overpaid teacher takes second greedy, overpaid job at grocery store
No Frills, Ontario – Wealth-hoarding public school teachers across the province are starting to take second jobs after complaining that the hundreds of dollars they make per year isn’t enou…
Streamer describes relationship with girlfriend as “Soulslike”
Twitch, Ontario – Local video streamer DubLub has described his current relationship relationship as a “Soulslike.” “It’s not for everyone,” continued DubLub. “But it really is an amazing e…
