MENLO PARK, CA — As Meta’s totally cool, definitely-not-creepy smart glasses become more popular with tech bros and straight-up pervs, the tech company is reportedly baffled as to why their glass…
Canadians relieved they won’t be forced to fly Air Canada
CALGARY – With news of the WestJet strike ending, Canadians are reportedly relieved that they won’t be forced to fly with the nation’s most terrifying airline: Air Canada. The sense of dread caus…
Neighbourhood kid who just learned to ride bike now logging 14-hour shift delivering Uber Eats
OAKVILLE, ON — Seven-year-old Ryan Driftwood has been making the most of his newfound love of riding his bicycle by “making bank” as a self-employed Uber Eats food courier. The second…
Québécois rock duo Angine de poitrine tops Spotify’s global charts, earns enough to pay for Spotify Premium
SAGUENAY, QC – After topping Spotify’s global charts, the Québécois rock duo Angine de poitrine has reportedly earned enough from the streaming service to pay for the equivalent of “one month of …
Local vinyl collector charged with leaving records in hot van
GRAND FORKS, BC – Police have charged 45-year-old Otis Claypool with criminal negligence after he left two milk crates filled with vinyl records inside his hot van for nearly an hour. “Leaving 12…
Loblaws bread-fixing settlement worth approximately 1/3 of grocery trip
TORONTO – Loblaws is “stepping up to the cost of living plate” by offering a one-time court ordered payment worth approximately 33% of a typical grocery trip. “Everyday I hear Canadians tell me h…
Local man sent for psych evaluation after saying he enjoys sports without gambling
WINNIPEG – Local crisis workers have sent 32-year-old Ronald Alexander to Victoria General Hospital for psychological tests following disturbing reports that he has “never put money down on a sin…
CBC Gem crashes due to Canadians using it
TORONTO – With record numbers of Canadians viewing the Winter Olympic Games on CBC Gem, the streaming platform experienced several outages due to what’s being called “an unprecedented number of p…
Experts warn new film about divorced man doing stand-up may lead to more divorced men doing stand-up
MONTREAL – Experts are sounding alarms about the new film Is This Thing On, starring Will Arnett, warning how its depiction of a newly divorced man doing stand-up comedy to process his failed mar…
