MORGANSTOWN, VA – Researchers at the esteemed Brain Injury Research Institute have determined that brain injuries cause mixed martial arts fights. “Before starting their careers in fighting, most…
‘Just leave the report by my taser’ says RCMP to Human Rights Watch
OTTAWA – RCMP instructed Human Rights Watch to leave a damning report on abuse allegations of Aboriginal girls and women on the desk of the Duty Officer beside his taser. “Yeah, we’ll look at it …
King Richard III’s skeleton given as trophy to descendants of family who killed him
LEICESTER, ENGLAND – Family members of the descendants that brutally cut down King Richard III during the Battle of Bosworth Field were ecstatic to receive the 561-year-old monarch’s skeleton as …
Investigators conclude flying burnt skeletons cause of fiery plane crash
HAY RIVER, NWT – Transport Safety Board (TSB) Officials concluded today that a fiery plane wreck that resulted in millions in property damage was caused by burnt skeletons piloting the aircraft. …
CBC accidentally rehires spiffily dressed homeless man instead of Don Cherry
TORONTO – In a recent CBC gaffe, Hockey Night in Canada has mistakenly rehired a colourfully dressed homeless person instead of legendary hockey commentator Don Cherry. The homeless man, who iden…
Unusually quiet, slumped over Hugo Chavez sworn in as Venezuelan President
CARACAS – Despite concerns about his deteriorating health, Hugo Chavez was sworn in as Venezuela’s President in a short ceremony in which he did not speak or move around all that much. Chavez, wh…
F-35 Jets: How did they get so expensive? (INFOGRAPHIC)
The Harper government is considering scrapping a deal to buy a fleet of F-35 jets from American manufacturer Lockheed-Martin due to ballooning costs. Latest reports by an independent auditor plac…
Canada’s Economic Action Plan: A Breakdown
How has the money from Canada’s Economic Action Plan been spent? The chart is interactive. Try mousing over the slices or legend entries.…
CFL Players ask Kick For A Million winner for personal loans
TORONTO – As the CFL approaches the Grey Cup, its premiere event of the year, discouraging reports have indicated that several of the league’s down on their luck players have asked the winner of …
Israel drafts 14-year-old Becky to wage Twitter, Facebook war against Hamas
JERUSALEM – The Israeli Defence Force (IDF) has drafted 14-year-old Becky Anderson to wage a social media war against enemy forces in Gaza. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu approved the …
