OTTAWA – The Harper government is demonstrating its profound empathy for the disenfranchised political class with a $68,000 lunch program for disadvantaged PMO staff and cabinet ministers. “It’s …
RCMP bust major Canadian Tire money counterfeit, laundering operation
MONCTON – The RCMP have arrested twelve people in connection to an advanced Canadian Tire money counterfeit and laundering operation, seizing over $10 million in Canadian Tire currency. Pol…
Calgary relieves traffic congestion replacing downtown with 6,000 lane highway
CALGARY – After years of congested roads and frustrated drivers, the City of Calgary announced that it will be tearing down most of the city’s core and paving a 6,000 lane highway for a fas…
Stereotype saves man from several seconds of critical thinking
REGINA – A local business man has saved himself 8 seconds of critical thinking after quickly using a contemptuous stereotype to avoid any empathy for a fellow human being’s situation Karl L…
Canadian voters now required to show Conservative Party membership card before voting
OTTAWA – The federal government has recently announced plans to address voter fraud by requiring Canadians to present a Conservative Party membership ID before voting in elections. “Canadia…
Sir, don’t you think you’ve rolled up enough rims for one day?
BY A TIM HORTONS DRIVE THRU SPEAKER BOX On behalf of Tim Horton’s, I would like to thank you for your loyal patronage at our stores during our roll-up-the-rim-to-win event, but Sir, don’t you thi…
Chrysler unveils new car that runs entirely on government subsidies
WINDSOR – In an effort to break ground in the automotive industry, Chrysler unveiled a new model of sedan built in Canada that runs entirely on government funding. The new design called The…
Rob Ford Neknominates Ontario Premier in Internet drinking game
TORONTO – Toronto Mayor Rob Ford released a video on the new ‘Ford Nation’ YouTube channel today in which he participates in the new Internet drinking phenomenon ‘Neknomination’ and challen…
Sun News reveals CBC’s French pronunciation scandal they just invented
TORONTO – Journalists at Sun News have revealed a shocking, fabricated story about how CBC journalists pronounce French-Canadian Olympic athletes’ last names in French despite the fact that…
