Sir, don’t you think you've rolled up enough rims for one day? - The Beaverton

Sir, don’t you think you’ve rolled up enough rims for one day?

BY A DRIVE THRU SPEAKER BOX

On behalf of Tim Horton’s, I would like to thank you for your loyal patronage at our stores during our roll-up-the-rim-to-win event, but Sir, don’t you think you’ve rolled enough rims for one day?

I’ve seen you here five times in the past three hours and you’ve ordered twelve coffees, two teas and a hot chocolate all claiming that you were taking orders for your co-workers. Don’t lie to me; I know you’re using that as an excuse. You don’t even have a job anymore since you gave it up to spend more time rolling up lids.

I can tell you that winning cups are completely random and not based on cup size, store location, time of day or planet alignment.

I remember the good old days when it used to be about the coffee and the large double-double you get every morning and got your caffeine hit. But you’re a completely different customer that only wants the cup that gives them that empty thrill of winning a donut.

Our employees caught you scrounging through the garbage to see if there were any winning cups that were thrown out.

Look at the blisters on your thumbs from all of the rolling. I don’t even know who you are anymore. You make me sick.

Thank you for choosing Tim Hortons. Please drive through.