


NEW YORK – In a speech before the UN General Assembly, Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu declared that Canada officially recognizing Palestine as a state is worse than anything else he could imagine happening there.
Canada, along with several other Western countries, recognized Palestine as a state as of Sep 21st, a move which Netanyahu described as “basically a war crime, but even more terrible”.
Standing before the world’s assembled diplomatic corps, who presumably have kept up to date on events in the Middle East, Netanyahu declared, “In the long history of the region, nothing worse has been done to the people of Palestine than being granted diplomatic recognition of their statehood. I cannot think of a worse fate for the embattled population, and I can think of some extremely horrifying things.”
Netanyahu claimed that no one in his far-right cabinet could name a single thing that would set the Palestinian cause back further than recognizing their international rights.
When asked to respond, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney remained resolute. “Canada asserts that our recognition of Palestinian statehood is not ‘worse than five genocides’,” Carney explained, “And Prime Minister Netanyahu’s response is so disappointing that we will have no choice but to continue to sell weapon parts and ammunition to Israel through back door channels.”
Netanyahu concluded his remarks by saying, “If we can just finish what we started, without all you busybodies poking your noses into affairs you don’t understand, this tragic cycle of violence and vengeance can finally get back on schedule.”