TORONTO – With the Sportsnet+ app failing for many viewers during the Blue Jays victory in Game 4 of the World Series, Rogers execs have come forward to say that “honestly, this is kinda your guys fault.”
“Our app was built for a few thousand people to use to watch the Leafs lose to the Buffalo Sabres on a Tuesday night,” said Sportsnet+ senior VP of lag time Martin Frobisher. “We had no way of knowing that the Blue Jays being in the World Series for the first time in 32 years would draw even more viewers than that!”
“But going forward we promise to build a streaming platform that doesn’t crash right when the Blue Jays are in the middle of a big inning in a decisive World Series game. And we’ll only charge an additional 15 bucks a month for it!”
“$19 if you want premium,” he added.
The Sportsnet+ service crash was particularly infuriating to viewers due to the fact that the service’s error message attempted to pass the blame onto viewers, by claiming there was an issue with their network. But sources inside Rogers insist this was an innocent mistake brought about because the company assumes that it never does anything wrong and its customers are stupid idiots who are responsible for their own struggles.
“We are confident we have resolved all the issues heading into Game 5,” said the Rogers company in a statement. “If users do encounter any errors, we encourage them to use our live chat system so they can speak to ‘Gord’ an AI chatbot we designed to drive Canadians into madness through a combination of inability to help and refusal to connect them to an actual customer service agent no matter how many times people write HUMAN BEING in all caps with 8 exclamation marks!”
