OTTAWA – With millions across America taking part in today’s planned “No Kings” protest, Canadians have signalled their willingness to lend support – though emphasize that they still have a “weird affection” for their recent Queen.
“We Canadians understand American’s eagerness to show President Trump that he is not their king, and we are all to willing to dunk on our own King Charles to do it,” explained Prime Minister Mark Carney. “We’ve always been at best lukewarm on the guy, and honestly we keep forgetting that he is technically our current monarch.”
“No Kings, you big eared loser!” a Carney staffer exclaimed, holding up a sign reading ‘ELBOWS UP, KINGS DOWN’.
Carney then pivoted, “However, while we totally understand how this No Kings protest is meant to criticize authoritarianism and executive overreach, we must make it clear that we love the late Queen Elizabeth, and we were happy to have her on our money and would take her back in a heartbeat.”
“With that out of the way, let the ‘No Kings (but yay Queens)’ Canadian sympathy protest begin!”
Across the nation, Canadians plan to march in support of American ‘No Kings’ efforts, while still clutching their Queen Elizabeth commemorative plates and throw pillows.
“Sure, King Charles is a weak embarrassment that Canada should sever ties with,” explains Audra Mulvaney, 67, “But my late mother once met Her Majesty at the Edmonton airport in 1982, and the photograph of that handshake sat directly in front of her wedding photo until the day she died.”
While rejecting both Donald Trump and “that pure wiener” King Charles, Canadians are making it clear that they support not just Queen Elizabeth, but also other popular queens, including Queen Victoria, Queen Meghan Markle (if they ever wanted to go that way), Queen Amidala, Queen Sansa Stark, drag queens, Toronto’s famed Queen Street, and the former band Queen.
In a related story, US President Donald Trump responded to the nationwide ‘No Kings’ marches by applauding efforts “to finally protest that horrible Rodney King.”
