OTTAWA – Mark Carney has unveiled an “ambitious” plan to cut government spending by 7.5% next year, and 15% by 2029, figures he truly believes his government can manage as long as he ensures daily life getting between 5 and 30% worse for Canadians during that time.
“Finding a way to take billions of dollars out of the federal purse in the span of 12 months will be hard I know,” said Carney. “But if we truly commit to the fact that everything Canadians rely on, from healthcare to roads to being able to get their passport renewed, will become a decent amount harder and/or worse, I believe we can achieve greatness.”
“And when we manage to use that money to achieve the arbitrary increase in defense spending demanded by the head of a Cold War era military alliance that is currently supporting a genocide in Gaza, we’ll know it has all been worth it.”
Carney is hoping to achieve a spending cut that even Harper could only wet dream about primarily through attrition in the civil service. That way he won’t have to eliminate any popular programs the Trudeau government introduced like 10 dollar a day daycare or Dentalcare.
Instead, by not having enough civil servants to make those programs work, he can oversee a massive decline in their popularity, and then cancel them on the grounds Canadians don’t like them. Win-win.
Any civil servants who wish to keep their job are encouraged to become oil pipelines as quickly as possible.
