SUDBURY, ON – Proud feminist Brad Daniels revealed that he only uses “hysterical”, a term that labels emotional women as hormonal, when it really is his girlfriend’s time of the month.
Brad, who owns no fewer than three Ruth Bader Ginsberg bobbleheads, first learned about the history of the word in a TikTok he saw six weeks ago. Since then, he’s made it clear to his girlfriend Sarah that he understands – she’s not mad because he just mansplained the plot of Promising Young Woman, she’s a mere victim of her pesky, pesky, hormones.
“As a feminist, it is so important that I am in tune with the women in my life”, said Brad, who was super sure that Sarah had a mega heavy flow that night he paid to see Louis CK live.
“Plus it helps that I am a brother to three strong, female, sisters who also act like total Karens when they’re on the rag”.
“I know he’s trying to be a supportive ally”, remarked Sarah, “but one time he offered me a tampon when I was just mad that he tweeted #IStandWithJohnny… and he felt so bad that he installed a period tracking app so he would never make that mistake again”.
Despite Sarah’s concerns, Brad does his best to be an ally by engaging in activities that all the best male feminists do – like watching Wonder Woman, re-tweeting Jameela Jamil, and starting a petition to end the pink tax because ‘how else are those hormonal uterus-havers gonna afford their ice cream and chick flicks?’.”
Shortly his interview, Brad learned that the historical cure for “hysteria” was to give his girlfriend an orgasm and then the outspoken feminist could no longer be reached for comment.