Boyfriend blissfully unaware of how often partner weeps at his imaginary funeral - The Beaverton

Boyfriend blissfully unaware of how often partner weeps at his imaginary funeral

WINNIPEG – Local Jared Marshall lives a peaceful life in Manitoba; working by day, relaxing by night, all the while unaware that behind closed doors his partner weeps at the idea of his imaginary funeral.

Raquel Palmer, Jared’s girlfriend, lives a modest, simple life with Jared, who she loves dearly and imagines perishing frequently.

“What a gorgeous day,” Jared remarked on a recent picnic date, unaware that deep in Raquel’s daydreams, he recently sustained grave injuries in a tragic car crash. As Jared continued to remark on the peaceful nature of the afternoon, Raquel was busy at work visiting his near-lifeless body in hospital every day until his final breath, mourning as a hot unattainable widow, and bringing their newborn child, with whom they didn’t know she was pregnant, to the willow tree under which Jared was laid to rest.

“I love him so much I just can’t help but picture how sick with grief I’d be if he fell and hit his head,” Raquel sighed, “Or got murdered in a case of mistaken identity. Or was shot trying to prevent a bank robbery. Or drown during an extended sea voyage. Or…”

Jared is in great health; he exercises daily, eats well, and has a family history that suggests many healthy years to come. These facts are what make his purely theoretical diagnosis of a rare, blood borne disease all the more tragic.

Close friends and family have expressed worry for Raquel’s mental health.

“Sometimes I think she’d be happier in their relationship if she just liked him less,” Raquel’s mom, Bonnie shrugged.

Despite comments like this, Raquel feels she’s focusing on the bright side. “It takes a really happy relationship to instill an extreme dread of loss,” Raquel smiled thoughtfully. “And boy oh boy, am I full of dread.”

The pair are set to take an extended vacation together later this summer. “It’s a long trip but I’ve never met someone like her, someone I just don’t get tired of! Pretty wild, right babe? Babe?” questioned Jared. Raquel, who sits quietly on their bed, grasping Jared’s favourite sweater and trembling uncontrollably, was unavailable for comment.