OTTAWA – As Canadians spent the day commemorating the inauguration of the country’s iconic maple leaf flag, the nation’s weird shut-ins took to obscure subreddits for a celebration of their own, in honour of false flag operations.
The Beaverton sat down with one member of the conspiracy community, a figure who refused to identify themselves by anything other than Cyph3r.
“False flags are a storied part of the world history that the media keeps buried and it’s time we recognized that”, said Cyph3r. “9/11, Hurricane Katrina, Team Fluff winning the 2022 Puppy Bowl, these are just a handful of the government fabricated events set-up to justify their actions to the public.”
While false flags have historically been used as militaristic and political means of escalation, Cyph3r remarks that ‘is only the tip of the iceberg.’
“Also, icebergs are secretly surveillance vessels for the penguin navy, but there’s neither here nor there.”
“It runs deeper than you can even imagine. For instance, there’s the ‘double false flag’ where an organization or foreign power commits an act in their own name to get people to think they committed that act. Like in 2014 when Russian forces took on the guise of the Russian military and invaded Crimea. All so it would appear that Russia invaded Crimea.”
“Can you believe that?”
When asked why false flags were so significant to the ‘nut-bar’ segment of the population to be worth a day commemorating?
“False flags are a part of every good conspiracy. Any theorist worth their pee jars knows when you find a fact that supports your theory, that’s evidence. Anything that refutes it, is obviously a false flag.” Cyph3r responds.
“Like I have a working theory that Mark Zuckerberg is secretly a lizard person”, remarks Cyph3r gesturing at a tangle of yarn and photos tacked onto a bulletin board. “While I haven’t encountered anything yet that refutes it. You bet when I do, it’ll be a false flag.”
While Cyph3r’s interview unfortunately had to be cut short, after they heard an airplane fly overhead they thanked The Beaverton for being the only news site ‘brave enough to tell the truth.’