ETOBICOKE – After being forced to live at his cottage in Muskoka because access to his house is blocked, Doug Ford asked his daughter, Krista Haynes, if she and her anti-vaxx friends could please get out of the driveway.
“My friends,” said Doug Ford to reporters outside his second residence in Port Sydney, “Christmas at a spacious cottage on the lake is something every ordinary Ontarian can enjoy, but there comes a time when you need to park your SUV in your garage in the city. To this end, I’m asking Kayla… er, Kara… er, Kyla – dammit – Krista! – if she can convince her anti-vaxx buddies to move their protest out of the drive and somewhere more appropriate – like outside a hospital.”
“Heck, I’m sure those exhausted and demoralized healthcare workers could do with seeing some friendly faces.”
Despite being part of the protest outside the family home, Krista mounted a Peloton to record an Instagram video to respond to the Premier’s request, in which she calls vaccines the work of the devil.
“The same people who are forcing vaccines on children and police officers are now ordering us freedom-loving protestors out of my Dad’s driveway!” said an out-of-breath Haynes. “And those evil people get their orders from China. Stay strong, my friends! Don’t give into the communist dictators who want to steal your freedom!”
Haynes then signed off with, “But I still love my Daddy almost as much as I love Jesus. See you at the cottage!”