Family in silent pact to ignore dog’s obvious erection  - The Beaverton

Family in silent pact to ignore dog’s obvious erection 

LETHBRIDGE, AB – Reports indicate that the Miller family’s night has been interrupted by their English bulldog Snoodles, who has a glaringly obvious no one wants to acknowledge.   

“I guess I’ll buy Baltic Avenue,” said Mrs. Miller, while having a clear view of Snoodles’ throbbing

“It doesn’t look like much, but the on that one can really add up,” her husband said, as a desperately Snoodles rolled onto his back to display his turgid cock to the world. 

Sources say that cold has prevented Snoodles from getting enough , and that the frustrated pet has channeled his pent-up energy into increasingly frantic attempts to mount laundry hampers, consoles, various pieces of furniture, a dropped head of lettuce, and his own shadow. 

The Millers’ son attempted to quietly resolve the situation by tossing a Shrek toy into the adjacent room, but Snoodles promptly returned with it, his engorged ding-dong flopping all the while. 

A slobbering dog then escalated the crisis by clumsily thrusting at the toy, in an act that resembled a tube of lipstick being repeatedly mashed against a squeaking pile of felt and plastic in the shape of a cartoon ogre. 

“Oh, is it my turn?” the Millers’ daughter asked while the squeaking grew more frantic. “Well, I’ll buy a hotel,” she said, resisting the urge to remind everyone that she’d wanted a cat. 

Mr. Miller, unable to handle the tension any longer, broke the implied pact by whispering “You’re a little frisky tonight, huh?” to Snoodles. This only increased the awkwardness, and the next few turns were played out in a grim stillness.   

At press time, Mrs. Miller was silently moving her good pillows out of hump range.